This story was initially written and published by Kelly Avery Boyd and she has allowed me to republish it here.
In her original news letter, Kelly conveyed the circumstances surrounding the birth of our father (Robert E Avery Sr.). Dad expressed, how he felt that he was an unwanted child. Kelly indicated that she did not understand the impact of this statement until she read a letter from our grandfather (James A Avery) wrote to dad. The letter is dated January 1978.
The letter is a story of infatuation by my grandfather. It also marks the beginning of my father’s life as he knew it. My grandmother, Eva Cunningham is also a part of this story as her heart was broken.
Looking for a Better life
The story begins when my grandfather left Noblesville Indiana, for a better life. His mother and father both died of a hard working life. [Editors note: My Great-Grand father Robert Emmett Avery and Great-Grand mother Eudora “Dora” Avery died when my grandfaother was young. His mother Eudora “Dora” Avery died at the age of 41 in 1916 of a pulmonary hemorrhage with a secondary cause of death as pulmonary tuberculosis. His father, Robert Emmett Avery died at the age 46 in 1919 of bronchial asthma and the secondary cause of death was bronchial tuberculosis. Additonally, his younger sister Lillian Avery died in 1917 of tuberculosis also known then as “pulmonary consumption”] Granddad ended up in Kokomo, Indiana and roomed with a friend who’s name was Howard.
Grandad found one of many jobs there. He barely had any clothes, but he found time to party. Soon afterward, he became interested in women. He was only 18 years old.
Man Meets Girl
Each day grandad would walk alongside the railroad tracks to hurry home for lunch. On his way home, there was a fenced-in house with a nice yard. One day, while on the way home, he looked up at this house and in the doorway stood a girl eating a sandwich. She was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. They exchanged pleasant greetings and this went on for days. The girl’s name was Annette and she was 15 years old at the time. Her background consisted of wealth. Her family lived in Kokomo, quite comfortably. Annette’s grandmother didn’t want her dating any of the town boys.
In a month’s time, grandad changed employment. This meant that he wasn’t able to see Annette anymore.
One late summer day he came home from work, his landlady jokingly said “you’re getting up in the world. A young lady left this note for you.” It was an invitation from Annette to escort her to a theater party. He was stunned but excited at the same time. Glancing at the clock, he noticed that it was 5pm. His shirts were in the laundry, he was broke and in a hurry because this girl was something to dream about. Borrowing $5 from his landlady, a shirt from Howard, he was off to the theater with Annette. When he met her, his thought was that she looked lovely.
As the evening passed on, Annette took granddad aside and asked him, “why haven’t you ever tried to talk to me? You appear friendly enough, but I had to make the first break!” Granddad told her he had heard that her grandmother was saving her for bigger and better things in life. Annette expressed that she knew how her grandmother felt, but she couldn’t be around girls all the time. They departed from the party and walked down the street to the show. On the way back, she pulled granddad under a cherry tree and asked, “Do you want to kiss me before I arrived home?” Granddad of course accommodated her request. He went home that night in a daze. He couldn’t sleep or eat. The next day he phoned her but her grandmother answered. She told granddad in so many words that he was beneath her granddaughter and not to call again. Granddad was floored. Just one week prior, he had planned to move to a larger city, like Chicago, Detroit or New York, but now he was in love and couldn’t leave.
Later that same evening, Howard and granddad went to a soft drink place and sat in one of the many booths they had there. To his surprise Annette came in…their eyes met. She sat in a different booth initially but later got up and passed granddad’s booth and dropped a note on the table. It stated to to meet outside her mother’s house. This went on for four years meeting her at various places. Granddad idolized this girl.
Annette’s family decided that it was time for her to go to college. This she conveyed to granddad, but she told him that she would write every week and come back to Kokomo every chance she got.
Annette also told granddad she would figure out a way to get him to her college located in Peoria, Illinois. After some time Kokomo started changing with the movement of the Klu Klux Klan. This meant no jobs for people of color. Granddad then sought employment opportunities in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Since Annette had moved away to college, granddad started living recklessly. He was almost shot twice while living in Fort Wayne. One instance was over his boss’s girlfriend and the other was over a gambler’s wife. Needless to say, after a few months in Fort Wayne he ran back to Kokomo.
The Birth of a Child
Annette was coming home for Christmas and granddad wanted to buy her something nice. The holidays came and went and so did Annette, back to college again. In his mind, this left him free to play the field…and play he did. He met my grandmother Eva Cunningham through a mutual friend. They often got together because my grandmother gave music lessons. She played for my granddad on occasion. Usually, grandad went to Eva’s house to talk and laugh a bit and then bid her goodbye. One night he stayed unusually late. While heading for the door he grabbed his overcoat , opened the door and noticed that there was a snow storm. He couldn’t see 10 feed in front of him. Eva asked him to stay until the snow storm had passed. Granddad decided that she was right. Everyone else had retired to bed upstairs. Pretty soon they were snuggled up closely. Granddad didn’t leave until 5 a.m. the next morning. Walking home granddad said to himself, “Man you have got to watch yourself, Eva is a nice girl, you have to stay away from her.” And stay away he did….for three months. Finally, one night in a restaurant, someone he knew walked over to him and told him Eva had been looking for him and needed to see him right away. Granddad promised he would visit Eva that night. At her house he sat down and asked why she needed to see him. Eva was so formal and this puzzled granddad. Again, he asked why she needed to see him. Eva became silent for a time and then tears began to flow down her face. A realization came to him and he asked, “are you pregnant?”. She cried even harder now. He told her not to worry and that he would take care of everything. He left in a state of shock!
On arriving home, he received a letter from Annette (wouldn’t you know it!). In granddad’s letter he said, “I felt trapped. These girls are looking for a husband but I’m not looking for a wife.” After arriving back home, he sat down and just stared at the walls and remembered his own father’s marriage license framed on the wall. He also remembered how his father gave him a name….a legitimate name. What happened was his own fault. On top of all this, he was still held strong feelings for Annette. Eva was a nice girl but he was already committed and not in love with my grandmother, Eva. The next day granddad went to Eva and explained he would marry her but it would be under certain conditions she had to agree to:
1. You should understand that I’m not in love with you, I’m on love with someone else.
2. I’m only marrying you to give the child a name.
3. We will have no more children.
4. After one year, I want a divorce.
All of the these terms my grandmother understood and agreed to.
My grandfather married my grandmother and gave my father (Robert E Avery Sr.) a name. Time passed quickly which meant time for the pre-planned divorce. By this time, my grandmother’s heart had changed but granddad’s did not….so he left.
Comments from the original editor (Kelly Boyd) and some caveats by myself: I do know that because of granddad’s departure my grandmother was unable to properly care for my father who was passed from home to home of different relatives. Granddad did his thing and my grandmother Eva eventually remarried while living in Chicago. My grandmother died in a car accident in Chicago (May 1952), while daddy was a young man. The accident made the local news papers in Chicago Tribune and the Kokomo Tribune. Though these challenging situations took place in my father’s life, it had a positive impact on him. He has always been there for his children and grandchildren. He had a strong desire not to pass on the sins of his father. For some, this would have had an adverse effect on them but not my father. It really made him a better man. I admire my father Robert E Avery Sr. because he was a wonderful man in spite of the circumstances of his past. My granddad became somewhat of a loner. When he was ailing and needing help prior to his passing, my father was the one that was there by his side caring for him to make the journey easier. He was an amazing man!
[Editor’s note: Annette never married my grandfather but she did marry Eva’s younger brother Clarence Cunningham also known as “Ted”. They may have lived in Chicago for a time but at some point they divorced and Clarence remarried and eventually moved to Berkley, California.]